I felt like writing today so here it goes...still haven't gone to the gym, but when Jeremiah (my husband) gets home we are going to the gym. I can be honest, I don't feel motivation to go today, but I have to force myself to get back in the routine! I thought about going to Zumba at the gym, but I don't know if I can just go in there by myself with my anxiety, but I think I would enjoy it...something to think about I guess. I had a good idea that I am doing...I bought a neon yellow poster board at Wal-mart and I'm going to use it as motivation to lose weight. I had my husband take pics of my FAT lol..and I'm going to post it next to the poster. Then as I lose weight I will take pics..prlly every 5lbs so I can see progress and keep going. I'll have it posted in my living room so I can see it everyday. Nobody comes over very often so don't have to worry about that.
I've enjoyed my days off here..but it's back to the daily grind tomorrow. I love my job, but it's mentally draining dealing with customer problems call after call then you go home and you have your own issues of life to deal with. This is why I don't feel like I have the energy to do anything. One way to ease the troubles are my husband i try to get out of the house on our days off. This Sunday I'm going to Barren River State park with him to sit by the water and hike which is good exercise. I get ancy in good weather and like to get out of the house!
I finally got my internship intiated with the Red Cross and I'm excited about it, but it's another thing on my list of stuff to do. I have to get these last 4 classes out of the way and then I will finally have my Associate's degree, but then I have to get my Bachelor's degree. It's exhausting! I know I'll feel good thought when I have the diplomas.
I still don't know what we are doing for our anniversary! We have been talking about infertility a lot lately and it bothers me. Jeremiah feels like we might not ever get pregnant and has kind of given up hope. That's really hard to hear, but I understand where he's coming from because everything we tried didn't help. He wants me to lose weight and thinks that it will help our chances. I went to the zoo last weekend and it was really hard to watch all the families walking with their babies and little one's....Jeremiah agreed. I pictured when we have a kid finally taking them to see all the animals. I torture myself and watch 16 & Pregnant lol and I started picturing the other day......how fun it would be to set up who would be in my delivery room, having my family all around, and all the pics to take of that special moment. I hope one day this will come to pass, but I have to earn it first..and this is how I'm getting motivation to lose the weight. I'm also losing it because I'm not happy with how I look at all!!! I can't even get a good pic of myself! Plus, I want to look good for Jeremiah, even though he says it doesn't bother him!
Well, time to get to making my poster board......I can't wait to put the results up!! I'll wait until I see progress lol.
Don't worry hunny, its always gonna be hard to motivated yourself! Josh and I have that problem all the time! it sucks, but once you get into the habit, it will be a piece of cake.
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