As I'm writing this post, I'm kinda upset!! I just got done getting ready for work. I looked in the mirror which I totally try to avoid because I just get upset and I noticed small hairs growing by my lips now!! Are you serious? They are very fine and light colored, but noticeable. This is just another reason I hate PCOS! I remember when I didn't have to shave at all, but then one day my dad pointed out (yes, my dad) that I had small black hairs growing under my chin...I could have screamed!! He wasn't trying to be mean, but it's just a reminder that I'm not "normal". So, I got used to shaving a couple spots under my chin, but now I get to get used to shaving near my lip to :( To me, this is a sign that my PCOS is getting worse which means I have no choice, but to change because it can get a lot worse! Some women even have mustaches...this stinks :(
I do have to admit, seeing this makes me hate myself even more, but it also lights some motivation to fight PCOS. I started going to the gym last night. I didn't do too much because frankly I dragged myself into the doors, but now that I have noticed the hair..it makes me want to fight. So, tonight after Jeremiah and I get outta work I will be going to the gym and working hard!! I hope this is a new routine for me! I started taking DCI which is suppose to help with the insulin resistance with PCOS and make it so I don't turn everything into fat, but energy like normal people...and since then I can say that I have started feeling more energy. See, another downer of PCOS is you have fatigue/depression/anxiety.....I'm now realizing this is a I HATE PCOS post lol! Anyway, so the fact hat DCI has helped give me some energy gives me hope.
For those that have no idea what PCOS is, I encourage you to take 5 minutes and read about it because chances are you know somebody going through it. As far as my cycle goes, haven't had one in 4 months maybe longer...I'm trying not to take the fake progesterone to intiate a "period" because the last time I started naturally. I have been spotting the last couple weeks, but it just stops for some reason. Talk about my body sending me mixed signals right? I'm going to keep exercising and taking the DCI which lowers testosterone and in turn helps regulate periods and maybe get me ovulating so I can get pregnant. I'm not stressing to much about the infertility thing because I know I need to lose weight and get myself healthy before I can worry about having a child, but can't lie it's always in the back of my mind.
I'll keep posting...for now.......I have now realized I have no choice but to change!!
